


Sleepless

by Tren



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Gen, Insomnia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 12:28:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6519637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tren/pseuds/Tren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the Journey of Regeneration progresses, Colette continues to lose her ability to sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleepless

**Author's Note:**

> I admit I really wanted to explore the idea of Colette slowly succumbing to the angelic insomnia, because we see it from Lloyd's perspective, so the first stages of Colette's transformation go mostly unnoticed.

At first Colette thinks that her troubles with sleeping come from her newly improved senses.

After completing the Seal of Fire everything is LOUD. Her companions, monsters, environment. Everything is louder and richer and it takes her some time to get used to. But daily activity isn’t that problematic. There is so much going on that she can distract herself from all the sounds she’s hearing by concentrating on her friends – their conversation, footsteps, clinking of their weapons. It allows her to place herself, to focus.

The night, however, is problematic. It is then that the sounds come flooding, ever-present and never-ending. She tries to concentrate on her friends once more – Raine’s quiet sighs that she sometimes makes in her sleep, Genis’ deep breaths and Lloyd’s snoring. But it is not enough and she can also hear the mutterings of the inn owner downstairs, the argument in the adjacent building and other sounds of the city.

One night she hears someone being mugged several streets away. She raises from her bed and is about to run… no, fly to where the crime takes place, but her movement makes Raine stir in her sleep and Colette stops herself. The moment of hesitation is all that it takes for the mugging to end. The victim hands the money and the criminal walks away. Even if Colette flies there immediately, there would be nothing she can do anymore. She slumps on the bed, feeling useless. 

She hates herself for being unable to sleep, she knows Lloyd would worry if he realized that. Which is why she says nothing about it. 

She also suspects she might not be the only person who has trouble with sleeping. She can’t quiet put a finger on it, but there is something suspicious about the way Kratos breaths while dormant. If she didn’t know any better, she would think that Kratos also doesn’t sleep and spends the night pretending to do so.

Part of her wants to talk about it, because skipping on sleep can’t be healthy for him. However, that would require revealing that she herself can’t sleep. 

She is definitely not ready to admit out loud that she might be losing her humanity.

Which is why she says nothing and continues pretending that things are fine. Even when her friends notice that she is missing on her sleep she downplays it. It is difficult, but she can still fall asleep, even if for much shorter period of time than she used to. Her sleep is shallow, and wakeful, as the smallest noise can stir her awake, and Colette is pretty sure she can no longer dream, but it’s fine. As long as she still can still slumber, she should be fine.

After she releases the Water Seal she stops being able to sleep.

She also completely loses her sense of touch and taste. They had diminished after she released the Fire Seal, but now they are gone almost completely.

But it’s the lack of sleep that gets to her the most. Previously she could at least hope to fall asleep at some point, but now it is completely impossible for her. The night hours stretch as she lays with her eyes open, feeling too wakeful to sleep. 

The wakefulness is constant, keeping her mind active no matter how much she wishes to rest. It’s almost unbearable, but she is a Chosen. She needs to fulfil her duty. For the sake of the world and her friends.

At some point she starts to count starts, going along with Kratos’ suggestion. It helps, even if only a little bit. It at least allows her to occupy her mind with something that is not the final destination of her journey.

She counts the stars and thinks about Lloyd. He always liked astrology, he would probably enjoy counting stars with her.

She counts the stars and thinks about Genis. Wonders if he will ever manage to create a spell that connected to the astral bodies. 

She counts the stars and thinks about Raine. Would she find as many ruins as there are stars?

She counts the stars and thinks about Kratos. Did he know she would count the stars to occupy herself, rather than to fall asleep?

She counts the stars and thinks about her family. Are they also looking into the sky and thinking about her?

She counts the stars and thinks about becoming an angel. She wonders how much of her humanity will she have left in her final moments. Will she be able to feel sadness at leaving the world she loves and her friends?

She counts the stars and then wishes on all of them that everyone can find the happiness in the world she saves.


End file.
